Friday, October 8, 2010

Thoughts


Just got back from college. Had last practice before the performance on Monday. To be honest, my life is pretty much hectic. I hardly have the time or to be more precise, the moment for me to sit down, collects my thoughts together and have a short self-reflection. If its not because my hair still needs half and hour or so to be fully dried...... this post most probably wont exist.

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Everything seems so simple. U had a fight with your best friend and you get back in a minute when u have to go recess together. Perhaps, sorry was so much easier to say out long long time ago. An eraser from the bookshop might just save the day. How bout passing a note to ur best friend with some stupid drawings? Anyhow, i am sure you don't remember or put in heart what is the actual cause of each fights.

Now, a fight with ur best friend........ high possibility that it might jeopardise the relationship between you both. Forgiving each other became mission impossible and sorry really seems to be the hardest word. Maybe not everyone. But for me and you..... i know you know.

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Hmm. A short confession.

I just throw my tantrum on my best friend. Well, lack of communication these few days definitely pushed us to our limits again. Nothing surprising about a fight among we two i presume. Just a few sentences that night.... we ended in silence again. It didn't went well today either. I know we both did put some efforts in making things right but history repeats once again. Terrible thing is, I have to make everything more complicated to solve. I know..... I'm lack of confident. Thinking that maybe to you i'm not as important as you are to me. Once i have this thought in mind, i always shut u away leaving you feeling so annoyed. Sometime, i wished that we didn't get so close. My life could be much more peaceful without ups and downs.

But i guess u know me too well. U know that i'm such an ego freak that i won't admit anything even though its obvious that i'm at fault. I'm just too afraid of holding on things that i actually care. People that really means everything to me. Because a coward like me can't bear the pain of losing them. I acted as if i can let go, telling u nothing is bothering me but u didn't believed. U never believed. Which is why sub-consciously i'm hating u. HAHAHA.......

Still, each and everytime...... u give in to me. U always make the first move when we're giving silence treatment to each other. That's why i can't stop loving u! And now, i just wanna apologise to you publicly. I am sorry for being such a jerk. I hope you can forgive ur best friend (me) for behaving in her WORST. The thing i crave more than anything right now is to have us in good terms again.

I miss you.

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If this post manage to mend our ice-cubed relationship, remind me to copy paste this again when we have another fight. LOL! Just joking. =p

Right. That's it.
Oh, 3am! Time to hit the sack!

* Lunch date with my sayang
* Dinner & drink with my form 6 besties


p/s : Photos credit to Tumblr.

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