Saturday, November 6, 2010

Quiet. Peace. Bliss.

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Today, total no mood. Boomz! Drove myself all the way round SJ & PJ before deciding to stop by Starbucks and grab a cup of coffee. The sun just played hide and seek with me........ shining brightly at my face while i was in the car and now..... hiding behind the clouds while i'm shivering in the cold room. FML!

It seem pretty clear that i'm a person that need some time of my own. Don't get me wrong. I love socializing with everyone.... loving the crowds..... but just after being hyper with all activities, i tend to sink into depression. OhFuckIt.

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Definitely this is not the first time i'm having this anti-social-attitude. Sorry for those who called and cared. I'm fine..... Or i'll be fine by the end of the day!!!! Seriously speaking, i'm feeling suicidal few days ago. It scared the hell out of me too!!! No idea why was i having this nonsense thought. What goes through my mind was just me not waking up = dead. Thank goodness i get over it and oh well..... basically still suffering over some issues. Gosh. I'm secretly wishing for an angel to pick me up and send me to a place with no misery. wtf. -joking- Always be careful what u wish for right?

" There is this guy in formal sitting at the corner... i wonder is he feeling the same as me? Just wanting to be left alone at this moment? "

" Oh, a couple sitting by the window. With a cold and a hot drink in between. Saw their smiles which actually warms my heart. "

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" I'm halfway sipping my Java Chip without any whip cream when a lady in pink walk passed my table. Another young girl holding a BlackBerry with red cover choosing her starbucks bottle in front of me. Not to mention a man tapping his fingers on the table while waiting his coffee. LOL! "

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Can anyone just run away and never look back? With no regrets? I wished i can. There are so many things i regret doing and regret not doing. But what's for sure........ if i had a second chance, my choices will still the same. wtf. There're just some genes inside u that u cant change overnight. For me, my pride. I never admit my mistake. Rather sulk in regrets alone. I call myself a two-face. But tell me, who on earth only have one and only side of themself. If u happen to know someone like that, i would like to meet him/her.

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How ironic when u thought u actually had something, but all of a sudden.... It became nothing more than just a dream. Life is so unpredictable. Really so? Or u can actually live the life as u want it? Every move u make.... do u think over what are the consequences first before making it? Hope u dont cry over split milk. Somethings just cant be turned back to its original state.

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Right now, all i want is to cheer up!! Letting go what's been bothering me or whatever that i'm running away from!

We Heart It via Wasted Tumblr Believe
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I'm positive that i can do it. Nothing is impossible. Or at least that's what i've heard.


Croxis said...

Yeap!! Nothing's Impossible!! Keep positive o..= )

tra- said...

Long time no see, since Seafield I think. Well, you could look at it from another perspective.

Life can be said to be like a tide; there are ups and downs; there are things that we would have wished to the outmost that it could have been different; the truth hurts..

However if thinking and lamenting about it won't net me anything positive, then I won't think and just accept it all as it is.
Then at least in the end, I would still be able to smile.

"Can anyone just run away and never look back?"

Hmm well if you would hear my humble opinion; I would not think of that as running away in an instant.
It may also take a great deal for one to do this and not look back - being able to finally let it go and move forward.

It is ok to think and lament about your past once in a while - it is what makes us humans after all; to think, to feel, to regret;
but I sincerely hope that you do not beat yourself over something you already can't change, you deserve better than that.