All or Nothing

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you
but how could I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As thought I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it
Don't make me promises baby
you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now
I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all

just crap.

woke up like 2 plus today. OmiGosh right? hahaha.. whatever la. Its my last day of holiday and i have all the rights to do that *stickOutTongue* but partially is due to the influence from Chuah Bee Ting la. I told her we should set alarm at 10am so we could at least get up around 12pm BUT NO. she say NO NEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD la..... so, both of us ended up having our lunch at 3pm. swt...

my roommate just came back now and start reminding me that one more month left to our finals! shit. Yeah, now both her and bee keep shouting coz they cant figure out something bout their management stuff la. Hahahah... what i heard is " wo bu hui " ......... must be over stress la them coz their exam is less than 24 hours. Wish them luck. =p

Darn! i have so many assignments and presentations to prepare. wtf really....

hoLiDay-feVer

Selamat Hari Raya! an early wish to everyone.

Finally, i'm on one week holidays!!!!! right b4 (me, esther, bee, rach & connie ) separate back to own hometown, we had a girls day OUT. *wink*

Just going to post up pics~ hahahaha...


- Karaoke Session -




















- Shopping Maniac -














- Take 5 and MORE -




















- Dinner & Supper -










p.s : had really great time with u guys! xoxo. =p Have a nice holiday ~

I miss you.

Never thought that i will see those 2 papers again. Even forgotten about the existence.

Somehow, i dunno why i suddenly have the urge to go back home today. There's no specific reason why. But ya, it did. I was home around 9 plus. Walked up to my room, put my stuff down on the floor.... I caught a glimpse on my study table. Something extra was on it. I was wondering..... when i saw, i was like wtf. Who throw some old rubbish papers on my table? ISH.

I was gonna shout. Yeah, i'm bad tempered. Sorry.

The next second, i took up the papers... take a closer look and i cried. I quickly put the papers away as my mum came in my room. Shy to let her notice my tears...... i went out of my room.

Went watch some nonsense tv program to clear up my mind. Then have a long chat with mum. Few days ago, my family went back for my grandma's prayer which sort of like a routine after someone 49 days after death. I didnt follow suit coz I was having exam. Perhaps this is the reason why i wanted to go home badly. I wanted to know the details bout it. Sadly to say, my another relative passed away and the funeral was a day b4 my grandma's prayer. *sigh* Everyone back there at my hometown was probably feeling extreamly down. Two of our close ones left us.....

After awhile, my mum asked me : Hey, u saw the 2 papers i put on ur table? We found that when we were clearing up grandma's belongings. Everyone was shocked to see that too! Grandma kept it for so many years!!! Maybe to her, that is really what she treasure most. ( I hold my tears..... )

That was 3 and a half hours ago.

Now, alone in room again... I picked up the 2 papers and read it. My hands shivering..... and i cant stop crying..... i just cant stop.

The first paper, it was ugly written words saying To : Po Po. From : Foo Shin Yeen.
I slowly open the folded paper, and i saw a drawing of rabbit. Colored with yellow and a red ribbon on top the rabbit's head. That is all. This small piece of paper which i tear from Esso-the petrol station notepad when i was a little kid is actually kept nicely by my grandma. Even though it has turned yellow and the drawings faded.

The other paper, written in mandarin words.... saying To my dearest grandma, Happy Mothers' Day!! Again, this old sheet of folded paper make me cry. I open it and i saw what i really meant to tell her. I Love You. I even asked her whether the "heart-shape" i draw look like LOVE? haha... From : Ur grand-daughther ShinYeen.

I felt so bad. Something that i thought was rubbish at first.... was treasured by my grandma all the years. And those are the only 2 things i gave her. Nothing else. I can't even remember the last time i gave her a hug. SHIT. I knew the coming Chinese New Year everything will be different without her. The person u celebrated ur CNY for 21 years is not going to be there anymore. The very first person i wish Happy New Year wont be there. All left was just a lifeless board with her name on it. This is depressing! Damn it.

Hoping that time can heal. Treasure ppl around u. Dont regret when its too late to say or do anything to them.

p.s. I miss u.

Oh Shit - test.

I thought i dun give a damn to it but NO! i do really care! I DO!!!!! *yelling* Although i must admit that i knew last minute study is the reason why my results suck, but habit is something u will never change. Sigh. Next tasks awaiting me on my desk are writing a cover letter and also resume for my mock job interview which probably happens on Wed or Thurs hopefully. If not i have to wear formal-outfit for another week. EEWWW~

ok whatever. Heading back to my previous post which i wanted to talk about how i spent my end of August!! Really had a great time hanging out with my 2 bunch of buddies. Tired but satisfied. *wink*

Of course, most important of all is my OLD-time buddy TING TING's birthday! wuuhooo~ cheers for u my dear. Being 21st isn't that tough after all eh?


see see! another cute pic of u right on top of my blog. Happy? hahaha....

Friday night at her house party...


salute ur mum weihh! delicious hell.....


nikki & kheng posing with PINK LADY. swt....

Ting, i've known u for 15 years also! same with that jess-pig. Remember how we meet when we're at Lick Hung class 1G? hahahahaha.... i have no idea la actually. wtf.

Just want to keep it short and simple! Ur one of my best buddy which i'll never forget. Love u always. xoxo!


cakes! yummy~

Never miss out a group pic! ( ladies only of course. hahaha... )




After few hours of sleep, i went meet up with my uni bunch of mates, together with few juniors randomly went up to Genting Highlands. *chill* Not fully packed with people on a Saturday morning... which i find it kinda weird. Perhaps its not a school holiday weekend.



There's nothing much to do there considering we the 'seniors' dun wanna get amused by the theme park. hahaha. No nice movies to watch at that time also..... so, all of us decided to try on 2 things.

FIRST :




some 3-D motion master. goodness... DUN TRY THIS! waste money... no joke weihh.


SECOND :

- no pic available -

casino! since all of us are legally allowed to enter, we decided to went in to check it out. But sadly to say, due to money constraint, we can't afford to lose in any gamble. *pufft* So, after one round of survey, we are out.

After that. ( memory lost! so sorry )

Dunno what happen in the middle, 5 of us got separated. 3 of them actually went queue up for balloons! Dump me and frank wondering around..... ish!

So, we both decided to go have a drink at Starbucks. But OMG. Just to find the way there.... it tooks us like ages.... if i'm not mistaken, we actually went 2 times around Genting b4 we found it.

What happened then?


we became thinner!!! wtf.




( drama keeps distracting me from continuing..... arrgh! )

Oh ya, while we're waiting for the bus down to kl.... seriously boring! yeah, so without using ur brain u also how we passed our time!












Seriously, when ur bored... u can do ANYTHING!

Take a look ppl. *LOL*

Step 1 - when i first saw darling



Step 2 - trying to impress her



Step 3 - another attempt



Step 4 - hahahaha... succeed.



Step 5 - hurray!!! hahahahahaha....



Step 6 - sweet *wink*




hahahaha.... crazy. But it was so fun!!

*yawns* can't stand adi. Good night everyone. =p

The Ending of August 2009

OmG, Scary September is haunting me now!! Exams + assignments! damn wtf.

3 events i really wanted to update about. But some unexpected things happened. i lost my mood. wtF.

- i will post it up some other time. bye. -